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A Flutter of Hope

Updated: Jan 31, 2023

This response has taken me more than a minute as I sit here today trying to comprehend the incomprehensible. I have so many emotions and so much pain right now.... I do not know how to begin.


My hope is that I can place some healing words in this space.


When I wrote Know Justice Know Peace, I was still struggling with the murder of George Floyd. I wanted to get the book into everyone's hands so that people would begin to recognize that we can all be active in some way to prevent these senseless murders.


Last night I watched the tape and found myself going through the process that I wrote about. Reaction. Resistance. Response.


My first reaction was that of a mother. Pain. Excruciating pain. My next reaction was that of a wife. Anxiety. Terror. PTSD remembering my husband's experience with law enforcement a few hundred yards from our home, but he came home to me and sang in church that Sunday.


The resistance came hard and fast. This can't be happening. Dear God they are all black men. Please no. What am I missing? Are these men actually police officers? Something is off... Is this personal? An execution of some sort? There are indictments coming down already? How is this possible?


Then came the response. 5 officers were fired and indicted with more to come—a swift movement toward Justice. I have not experienced such direct decisive action in the face of past atrocities. Peaceful public protest. Weeping. In the middle of my endless well of tears, I felt a curious flutter of hope. The chief of police who fired the 5 officers is a black woman. No hesitation, no excuses, no bureaucratic BS. This was not about protecting white, black, brown, or any class or culture from wrongdoing. I will continue to hold on to this flutter of hope. It doesn't feel good to recognize that another black man had to die and at least 5 more men, black or otherwise, whose lives are destroyed. So much pain to see if the arc of humanity is possibly capable of leaning toward Justice. So why the hope? Through my lens, I see that in this case, we have an opportunity to have a unified response. When brutality and injustice raise their ugly head anywhere all of humanity should wake up and say enough!! Not on our watch!


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